Its A Doozy!
I`m not sure if thats how one spells "doozy", but I haven`t communicated in English for several days now so cut me some slack!
The settling in continues. Actually, physically I`m pretty settled in - that has been by far the easiest part of all this. Emotionally, every day is better. The thing I struggle with the most is feeling like I`m not doing enough - which translates into feeling guilty. Guilt that I haven`t started any major projects yet (even though the first 3 months are supposed to be just settling in), guilt when I leave Jocos, guilt that I`m not studying my Spanish every night, guilt that I spend the occasional day in my room reading. I know these aren`t things to feel guilty about, but thats what I do - feel guilty about things. Anything. Everything. I even feel guilty about Jocos getting electricity (which we are getting within the next couple of months! Woohoo! All the lightpoles have arrived and the holes have been dug for them.). These people have worked so hard for this. They have petitioned, sold crops, and cleared groves of eucalyptus to raise the money. And waited. I have done nothing of the sort. But I am going to reap the benefits (there might even be a blender in my future!). I`m not even sure I`m properly excited about it. This will change the town, but for me, not having electricity is just an inconvienence I had resigned myself to for the next 2 years. In Jocos, it will change how the community and, more importantly, the families, function. Suddenly, there will be more time in the day for work and play.
By far, the hardest day for me is the day before a trip - to Lluchubamba, to Cajabamba or further. These days are full of anticipation - so full that I sometimes find it next to impossible not to leave early. Trips mean contact with family and friends - English contact. Trips mean a break from the responsibilities (Kìon) and pressures (living in a fish bowl with everyone watching and talking about me). Trips mean a reaffirmation that I can do this, that I am doing this.
The BBC has become an intregal part of my morning routine. Over a cup of tea (or a cuppa, if you will), I listen to the world news and various pieces on various subjects. While I appreciate the news, the vast majority of it goes in one ear and out the other. The commentaries, however, always have my attention. I listen hungrily as the voices on the radio discuss the reality or not of coincidence, the usefulness of music charts, the state of life in this or that remote region (remoter even than I am - imagine that! Talk about getting some perspective!) or the nature of the fleas of the world (my next closest companions behind the dogs). These editiorials give me much needed conversation on things other than Peace Corps gossip, home or bowl movements. Even if I`m not part of the conversation or having one with myself. I listen raptly, hungrily and selfishly (much like I will sit down to my first crab dinner in 2 years upon my return to The States). They give me a better feel for the pulse of the world at large than the numbers and forgien names scrolling out of the shortwave.
My other media is books and CDs. The popular music here - call Huayno (whine-o) is less than applealing as it sounds like whining (at least to me - Peruvians love it). Needless to say, other than the BBC, I don`t listen to much radio so CDs keep me (and Kìon, much to his dismay) dancing. As for books - I have read several over the past couple of months but the ones that rise to the top are:
Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins
My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl (I also love his childrens books - The BFG, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach)
Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie
I reccomend them all highly!
And speaking of bowl movements (this is a Peace Corps volunteer`s blog, after all, and it would not be complete without at least touching on the subject. I will, however, save the gory details for other PCVs.). I am as healthy as I can be. Healthier, in fact. I have, so far, avoided any major tummy ailments (the biggest problem for volunteers) and those I have suffered from were nothing a handful of Pepto, a little hot tea and some time in the latrine couldn`t handle. I am eating well - getting all my veggies (maybe not in the greatest variety, but still) and more fruit than I have ever eaten before (my favorites? mangos, plums and granadills - a passionfruit hybrid I think). I`m getting plenty of exercise as I walk everywhere and everywhere is a hike. I also go for an official hike (or paseo) every day. This serves several purposes. It gets me out of the house, exercises Kìon and gets my gringa butt seen by people. At this rate, I`ll be bounding up 14ers like a friggin` mountain goat!
(Sorry to those of you who don`t give a crap - no pun intended! - about my bowl movements, eating habits or exercises routine. That was mostly for my family)
Integrating with my host family has been more difficult than eating well. While they are friendly enough, they remain closed to me - for a combination of reasons, I think. They seem to be fairly closed in general. They don`t socialize with the community the way the other people in Jocos do (I never see my host mom sitting on the corner in the evenings gossiping with the other women, nor do I ever see my host dad enjoying a beer or chica with the other men nor do the children ever really play with the rest of the kids.). The other obstacle is the language. They just aren`t sure what to do with someone who has a, at best, remedial grasp of their language. It can be frustrating for both sides of a conversation, but I feel it most when they about about me and my lack of language right in front of me (they haven`t yet figured out that I understand way more than I speak) or when they compare me to Natalie. I haven`t yet figured out what I`m going to do about the situation, but I have a couple options. I can move or I can keep trying to connect with them for a while longer. I think I will go that route. I`m not ready to give up on it just yet.
On the other hand, I am making some friends in Jocos. Miriam (a nurse at the Health Post) is fast becoming one of my best Peruvian friends. She is warm, fun (we can even joke with each other despite my limited vocabulary) and beyond patient with my endless questions on how to say things (she often has to endlessly repeat words that I have forgotten). Many of my afternoons are spent sitting with her at the Health Post talking and knitting. The other nurse is also becoming a good friend. Reina (Rain-a) is more reserved than Miriam, but her heart is just a big and she is just as patient with my language ability. In fact, patience is one of the main qualities I look for in friends right now!
For those of you wondering how the puppy is doing, he is doing well. Healthy and happy. As stressful as he is, he has become as much of a joy. His antics keep me smiling - most of the time. The house training has gone well - at least in my house. He now scratches at the door to be let out. Now if I can just get him to whine rather than scratch. . .
I`ve started teaching him to shake - in Spanish (dame la mano). Even though I consider this a useless trick, the Peruvians love it so I`ll teach it to him. I doubt I`ll translate it into English, though.
Oh! And, for those of you who made it through all that, I`ve opened the blog up to postings so feel free to make comments if you would like. As long as they are flattering, of course! Just kidding! Sort of! :)
The settling in continues. Actually, physically I`m pretty settled in - that has been by far the easiest part of all this. Emotionally, every day is better. The thing I struggle with the most is feeling like I`m not doing enough - which translates into feeling guilty. Guilt that I haven`t started any major projects yet (even though the first 3 months are supposed to be just settling in), guilt when I leave Jocos, guilt that I`m not studying my Spanish every night, guilt that I spend the occasional day in my room reading. I know these aren`t things to feel guilty about, but thats what I do - feel guilty about things. Anything. Everything. I even feel guilty about Jocos getting electricity (which we are getting within the next couple of months! Woohoo! All the lightpoles have arrived and the holes have been dug for them.). These people have worked so hard for this. They have petitioned, sold crops, and cleared groves of eucalyptus to raise the money. And waited. I have done nothing of the sort. But I am going to reap the benefits (there might even be a blender in my future!). I`m not even sure I`m properly excited about it. This will change the town, but for me, not having electricity is just an inconvienence I had resigned myself to for the next 2 years. In Jocos, it will change how the community and, more importantly, the families, function. Suddenly, there will be more time in the day for work and play.
By far, the hardest day for me is the day before a trip - to Lluchubamba, to Cajabamba or further. These days are full of anticipation - so full that I sometimes find it next to impossible not to leave early. Trips mean contact with family and friends - English contact. Trips mean a break from the responsibilities (Kìon) and pressures (living in a fish bowl with everyone watching and talking about me). Trips mean a reaffirmation that I can do this, that I am doing this.
The BBC has become an intregal part of my morning routine. Over a cup of tea (or a cuppa, if you will), I listen to the world news and various pieces on various subjects. While I appreciate the news, the vast majority of it goes in one ear and out the other. The commentaries, however, always have my attention. I listen hungrily as the voices on the radio discuss the reality or not of coincidence, the usefulness of music charts, the state of life in this or that remote region (remoter even than I am - imagine that! Talk about getting some perspective!) or the nature of the fleas of the world (my next closest companions behind the dogs). These editiorials give me much needed conversation on things other than Peace Corps gossip, home or bowl movements. Even if I`m not part of the conversation or having one with myself. I listen raptly, hungrily and selfishly (much like I will sit down to my first crab dinner in 2 years upon my return to The States). They give me a better feel for the pulse of the world at large than the numbers and forgien names scrolling out of the shortwave.
My other media is books and CDs. The popular music here - call Huayno (whine-o) is less than applealing as it sounds like whining (at least to me - Peruvians love it). Needless to say, other than the BBC, I don`t listen to much radio so CDs keep me (and Kìon, much to his dismay) dancing. As for books - I have read several over the past couple of months but the ones that rise to the top are:
Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins
My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl (I also love his childrens books - The BFG, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach)
Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie
I reccomend them all highly!
And speaking of bowl movements (this is a Peace Corps volunteer`s blog, after all, and it would not be complete without at least touching on the subject. I will, however, save the gory details for other PCVs.). I am as healthy as I can be. Healthier, in fact. I have, so far, avoided any major tummy ailments (the biggest problem for volunteers) and those I have suffered from were nothing a handful of Pepto, a little hot tea and some time in the latrine couldn`t handle. I am eating well - getting all my veggies (maybe not in the greatest variety, but still) and more fruit than I have ever eaten before (my favorites? mangos, plums and granadills - a passionfruit hybrid I think). I`m getting plenty of exercise as I walk everywhere and everywhere is a hike. I also go for an official hike (or paseo) every day. This serves several purposes. It gets me out of the house, exercises Kìon and gets my gringa butt seen by people. At this rate, I`ll be bounding up 14ers like a friggin` mountain goat!
(Sorry to those of you who don`t give a crap - no pun intended! - about my bowl movements, eating habits or exercises routine. That was mostly for my family)
Integrating with my host family has been more difficult than eating well. While they are friendly enough, they remain closed to me - for a combination of reasons, I think. They seem to be fairly closed in general. They don`t socialize with the community the way the other people in Jocos do (I never see my host mom sitting on the corner in the evenings gossiping with the other women, nor do I ever see my host dad enjoying a beer or chica with the other men nor do the children ever really play with the rest of the kids.). The other obstacle is the language. They just aren`t sure what to do with someone who has a, at best, remedial grasp of their language. It can be frustrating for both sides of a conversation, but I feel it most when they about about me and my lack of language right in front of me (they haven`t yet figured out that I understand way more than I speak) or when they compare me to Natalie. I haven`t yet figured out what I`m going to do about the situation, but I have a couple options. I can move or I can keep trying to connect with them for a while longer. I think I will go that route. I`m not ready to give up on it just yet.
On the other hand, I am making some friends in Jocos. Miriam (a nurse at the Health Post) is fast becoming one of my best Peruvian friends. She is warm, fun (we can even joke with each other despite my limited vocabulary) and beyond patient with my endless questions on how to say things (she often has to endlessly repeat words that I have forgotten). Many of my afternoons are spent sitting with her at the Health Post talking and knitting. The other nurse is also becoming a good friend. Reina (Rain-a) is more reserved than Miriam, but her heart is just a big and she is just as patient with my language ability. In fact, patience is one of the main qualities I look for in friends right now!
For those of you wondering how the puppy is doing, he is doing well. Healthy and happy. As stressful as he is, he has become as much of a joy. His antics keep me smiling - most of the time. The house training has gone well - at least in my house. He now scratches at the door to be let out. Now if I can just get him to whine rather than scratch. . .
I`ve started teaching him to shake - in Spanish (dame la mano). Even though I consider this a useless trick, the Peruvians love it so I`ll teach it to him. I doubt I`ll translate it into English, though.
Oh! And, for those of you who made it through all that, I`ve opened the blog up to postings so feel free to make comments if you would like. As long as they are flattering, of course! Just kidding! Sort of! :)
posted by Kellie | 2:04 AM
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