Vacation, COS, and Latrines

Once again I have neglected my blog duties - my apologizies! A lot has happened since my last entry - most notibly a long vacation with my dad and brother, my Close of Service conference, and the completion of the latrine project.

Vacation with Dad and Cody was busy but fun. We spent a couple days in Jocos exploring and meeting people (at least they did - I acted as their guide). We hiked to Shocorco one of those days and, as usual, the pople there went all out. Lunch, poems and songs from the students (including Happy Birthday to Dad as it was his birthday that day), and a tour of the latrine project. I think both Dad and Cody felt very welcomed and honored.
From Jocos, we headed to Cuzc and Machupicchu. While at first sight, Machupicchu seemed much smaller than pictures would lead one to believe, once we got down in it and started exploring, we all realized how big it actually is. During out time in Cuzco we stayed in Ollyantaytambo - a small town with a Machupicchu train stop. What a great place! Full of history, ruins, and tourists. We stayed at a great place called The Albergue actually inside the train station. Great people, a great location, and great food! While there, we visited the Inca Concentric Terraces and salt pans. For those of you who know me, you can probably imagine I was far more excited by the salt pans than the Concentric Terraces! Fueled by a salt water spring, the pans are situated on a small mountain. As the spring runs down to the river below, it runs through the pans filling them with salt water. As the water evaporates, the salt stays behind. All 1,000 pans are tended by hand - the salt collected, packed, and sold in the area. Due to impurities in the grains, the salt has a slight pink color and a very mild flavor. Needless to say I was fascinated! The Concentric Terraces are said to the the agro-laboratory of the Incas. Each level is said to have its own micro-climate.
From Cuzco we were off to Puno and Lake Titicaca. What can I say about Lake Titicaca? Well, its a very big lake. And very high at 13,000 feet! We took a day tour to the floating island of Uri and the real island of Taquille. The floting islands (made of reeds) were interesting but a huge tourist trap. The island of Taquille was also touristy, but in a far less obvious way. Regardless, it was well worth the day long trip!
After Lake Titicaca, Cody left for home and Dad and I continued on to Arequipa. What a great city! If I were to live in Peru again, I would live there! Though I can`t say Dad and I did much more than eat and shop. Impossible to resist all the aplaca clothing and good food!
Then it was back to Lima for a couple of days before Dad flew home.

It was so very important to me to have my family visit (Mom came down in April 2005) see Jocos; for my family to experience a little of my lifere here. I didn`t want these 2 years of my life to be a mystery to them - I wanted them to have a real connectin to the people here, to the way I live here. Their visits moved this experience outside my circle of Peace Corps friends and to Home.

The Close of Service (COS) Conference is a farewell meeting of sorts for the vlunteers completing their 2 years. The meeting themselves were anticlimatic - consisting mainly of talk of resumes, future jobs, grad school, re-entry to American life, and final paperwork. But it was the first time since we swore-in as volunteers that the entire Group 4 had been together. I had seen all but one volunteer during the past 2 years, but it was interesting to see how people had changed, how they had stayed the same. It was the last time most of us will see eacho other and I kept my good-byes short. I wish everyone the very best, but the fact is I have kept in touch with a handful of volunteers I`ve formed bonds with and these will be the people I keep in touch with after Peace Corps. Peace Corps has definitely taught me how to say good-bye to people - when tears are warrented, when a hearty handshake is in order.

My return to Jocos was hastened by the inagruation of the latrines in Shocorco. It was a simple and, for me, emotional ceremony. To have completed such a project with such a group of people is an accomplishment mentally, emotionally, and physically. I will carry the people of Shocorco and their latrines in my heart forever.

Still Going

I´m officially over 3/4 of the way done! And I´m sure you can guess that this is bittersweet for me (like so much else about this experience). I´m excited to be done with my 2 years here and start heading Home, but I also can´t imagine my life outside of Jocos. Sigh.

Well now, what has happened in Jocos, Peru and my life since I last wrote? On June 4, Peruvians elected a new President - Alan Garcia. Given the 2 choices they gave themselves, I think this was the best option. He will take office sometime in July (I hear everything from July 2 - which didn´t happen, by the way - to July 28, Peru´s Independance Day)
There was also the big Fiestas Patronales in Jocos. Despite my best efforts, I was in town for the partying - at least for one night. And luckily I wasn´t alone - Meredith came down for moral support. I certainly needed it! Especially once it became clear that all my pleading was to no avail and they set the sound system up right in front of my house. Literally 10 feet from my window! Now, fiestas in Peru tend to be extremely loud and go until "las ultimas consequencias" - meaning 4-5-6am is not unusual. Oh boy. Meredith and I made it until about 12:30am and actually managed to fall asleep around 1:00am. Amazing what you can tune out when you really want to. Luckily for us, the guy running the sound (our good friend Percy) call it a night around 3:30. Early by Peruvian standards. Even so, we took advantage of a car going to Lluchubamba the next morning and hopped town.

Its lentil time again in Jocos. There are lentils everywhere in various stages of drying. What I thought was quaint last year, I now find rather annoying. There is lentil dust everywhere and its making everyone stuffy - including me! I find lentil beans all over my room and there is a fine layer of lentil dust covering everything.

The latrine project is moving right along. They started making the adobe bricks for the walls late in May and the funding request is now out of my hands. I dare to hope we will have the money by early August.
I have been put in charge of giving talks at the school in Santa Rosa as part of the Escuelas Saludables (Healthy Schools ) program through the Health Post. I give short talks to the 3 classrooms 2-3 times a month on things like handwashing, brushing teeth and nutrition. I just started but will continue until I leave. I will be taking the program to Shocorco this month.

My boss, Emilia, came out to visit last week. It was her second visit to these parts and all went well. She liked Jocos and the work I am doing there, though says there will not be another volunteer coming after me. I whole-heartedly agree with her on this. Jocos just doesn´t seem able to take advantage of a volunteer. They seem to want more of an NGO to come in and just hand them things rather than work closely with a volunteer to accomplish their projects. With Emilia came my boss from Cajamarca, the South American security coordinator and his boss from the States. Not to mention my friend Jeff from Cajabamba. It was quite a full car!

I´ve been thinking about starting my return-to-the-States preparations. So far, I have been very good about not actually doing anything as it still seems a bit early (though I have just recently sorted out all my clothes - what stays, which is most, and what goes). I still have several months, but the mental lists of what goes where are getting longer and longer. Most of the actual giving away won´t happen until the day before I leave, however. I´m amazed at how much crap I´ve accumulated over the last 2 years!

And Time Goes On

It`s been awhile, I know. The truth is, I haven`t had much to say. Life in Jocos goes on as always.

But lets see. What can I update you on? Oh yes! I was asked by the school in Santa Rosa (a nearby community I support) to be madrina ("godmother") at the school`s anniversary. That involves giving some money (in my case for the "champagne" to make toasts with, though its about as far from real champagn as Boons Farm), eating guinea pig (I actually had to eat mine as I sat next to the mayor of Lluchubamba and couldn`t give my piece to Michael on the sly like I usually do), drinking some beer, and doing some dancing. It was a good time, but the ride home was by far the best part. Picture this: a dump truck filled to the brim with about 80 elementary kids and 5 adults. I imagine the ride back to Jocos was reminicent of first-generation amusement park rides - everyone giggling and screaming in unison, clinging to each other trying not to fall down, people in the back getting squashed as people shift and stumble, the collective sigh of relief when its finally over. In short, fun but dangerous as hell.
The last weekend in April I and a young man from Jocos, Pavel, participated in a boy`s camp put on by the volunteers in Cajamarca. Community leaders from Cajamarca and surrounding areas come in and gave talks on everything from "The role of Peruvian youth in the world" to "Machismo" to a career fair. All the talks were interspersed with activities - get-to-know-you, team building, etc. We even had a campfire on night and made S`mores! And unqualified hit with the Peruvian sweet-tooth.
There was, naturally, an adventure to be had on the way back to Jocos. Pavel and I were traveling with Meredith and the participants from Lluchubamba and everything went relatively smoothly until we hit the road to Jocos that Sunday night. We were in the Lluchubamba municipality truck when the steering went out. Now keep in mind this happens on a little-used road, on the side of a mountain, at 8:30pm. Thankfully, the driver got the truck stopped without issue and then managed to jimmy-rig the steering so we could head back to Cajabamba (it was closer than Jocos and much safer). Meredith and I were now not only worried about our safety, but what we would do with 3 teenagers in Cajabamba until 9:00am when we could catch a bus to Lluchubamba. As luck would have it, we never had to figure that out. On our way back, we passed another truck headed to Lluchubamba whose driver agreed to take us with him.

My latrine project is still in the works. Since I`m asking for about $2,000 from an outside agency, the paperwork is time consuming to say the least. I`m hoping to have the money sometime in July and the materials bought soon there after.
In other work news, I`m starting 2 World Map projects in Jocos (i.e. painting a world map with the help of the students in the schools).

My time here in Jocos is dwindling. It seems impossible that nearly a year and a half has gone by! Having said thta, my days are often filled with daydreams of Home (much like when I first got here - "My whole life is a circle"). I daydream about getting on the plane in Lima, about getting off the plane in Denver, of riding the escalator up from the train at DIA and looking through the windows for a glimpse of whoever has come to pick me up (hopefully someone will agree to do that for me!). I imagine seeing The Rockies again and what my dinner will be that night. I try to recall the smells of my friends houses and the feelings I have there. But mostly I daydream about being surrounded by my family and friends, those people I haven`t seen in so very long.
All this daydreaming and imaging is rather futile, I know. Nothing will be, feel, smell as I imagine it. But at those times when I`m on the verge of hiking out of here and catching whatever the next form of transport is to Cajamarca and then on to Lima, thinking of Home and that I will soon be there, calms me down and I can look past all the things that bother me and enjoy being in Jocos again.

The big fiesta in Lluchubamba was in May. I went up for 3 nights - the first night being the only one we spent any significant time out of Meredith`s room. That was the night we went to a concert. The band, Pintura Roja ("Red Paint", played cumbi music - which I can`t tell apart from the dreaded Hauyno. However, both Meredith and I agree that it was one of the best times we`ve had at a baile ("dance"). We mingled with lots of different people and only a couple of times got stuck dancing with people who were beyond drunk.
When I left Friday morning, I was ready to go. The thought of another day dealing with the drunks was too much. I just couldn`t take one more swaying, eyes-at-half-mast profession of love. "Kellie. You`re so beautiful. I love you. Give me a piece of your hair to remember you by." And this coming from a man I met the day before! This is the very ugly side of Latin Passion (not that I have any experience with the pretty side of that passion - unfortunately!). Professions of love, statemensts of jealousy, "My life is nothing without you." Its all too much for my American sensibilities.

For those of you who might,just might, be wondering, half a can of Raid doesn`t even phase tarantulas. I know this because I recently tried to discourage (at the very least) one from settling in my rom. The tarantula stayed put while I had to evacuate because of the fumes. To my knowledge, I`ve never had a tarnatula in my room before. In fact, I`m pretty sure of that. They are pretty obvious. In any case, this one decided that the space where the upstairs floorboards meet the adobe was the perfect place to dig a little den. It chose well. There was no way I could get at it as all but a small part of my ceiling is covered in plastic to keep the dust from above off my things. At least it chose a spot close to the opening of the plastic so I could at least see what was making the noise (I could hear the dirt hitting the plastic as it excavated its hole). Now, I hate spiders! In fact, I hate all things with 8 legs, but tarnatulas?!? Not to mention the fact that these spray a toxin that causes painful, pus-filled, full-body blisters. Needless to say, I did not want this particular roommate. In the end, I had to wait until it decided to make an appearance at 10:00pm. It was so big I could actually hear it and see the plastic denting as it moved around. Once it was in a good spot, I was able to chase it to the end of the plastic with my broom and squash it when it hit the floor. After caring it, very carefully, outside in the dust pan, I proceeded to beat it to a pulp. Anyone who saw me had to have thought I had gone crazy - standing outside in the middle of the night beating the ground with all my might. Blech! I HATE TARANTULAS!!!

Observations, Latrines, and a Welcome!

I want to officially welcome to the world Addison Bauer who was born on Feb. 16, 2006 and Anna Sampish who followed suit on Mar. 3, 2006. You each have a set of incredible parents and are loved beyond words. I can`t wait to meet you!

Looking at the pictures on my wall, I wonder what they say about me, about my life (if anything)? What does it mean that these are the pictures I`ve chosen to look at every day? Do they convey accurately who and what is important to me? Family and friends Here and There. Most of those from There are from various going-away parties and last get-togethers. Others show me attempting various activities - wakeboarding, hiking 14ers, snowboarding, scuba diving. And the remaining pictures are simply those that mean something special to - a special moment, a special person, an essense captured on film.
And what does it mean that I have separated my pictures between Home and Peru - a wall for each? Will those two places always be separated in my heart? Will they, one day, both become a part of me - equal? Or is it simply that i have never thought to change the picture`s arrangement from when I first put them up and needed the separation?
The pictures from Peru are smaller in number and only a few have any special meaning to me at this point. Looking at them now, I realize I put most of them merely to document my life. Can you tell they were taken in Peru? Only a couple, I think. But another person, someone from Home, might think differently.
I try to look at all these pictures as a stranger would, without any emotional connection or memory of when they were taken. Of course, I can`t. Each one has a story for me, often so layered and interconnected that one picture leads to another, unfolding the last 8 or so years of my life.

The heavy rains of February have faded into the heavy mists of March. These are the rains, almost definite, almost solid, that make me ache with homesickness. They put me in mind of Colorado winters, those pale grey days when the snow falls in tiny, barely definate, barely solid flakes, slanting down through the wind. The days when I would want to either curl up on the couch with my favorite person, favorite blanket and favorite movie and wait for the chili to finish cooking. Or be on top of a mountain, snowboard strapped on, a hole opening in my stomachas I slide over the edge.
When they first started, these rains, I would put my hand out, more than half expecting to see tiny white flakes melting in my palm. But no. I don`t do that any more, know the disappointment that falls with mist that isn`t quite snow. Still, every once in a while, I`ll stand outside, my face turned up and my eyes closed. I can, for a moment or two feel real snow on my face, smell the cold the snow brings with it. But soon I become aware that the sensation of moisture on my face is wrong and there is no sharp inhale of cold. The moment of nothingness between when a snowflake lands on the skin and the drip of moisture from the melted flake is missing and I smell not crisp cold but wet rocks and wet animals.

My latrine project has made a couple what I hope will be major advanced over the last few days. As luck would have it, there is a civil engineer in Lluchubamba who has agreed to help me with the funding proposal and obtaining materials. he is also in possession of all the necessary schematics. We will need to pay him, of course, but not much - he just wants to help (he has done the same for Meredith and her "cuy" project). The second possible advance is the rejection by the mayor of Cajabamba to provide roofing tiles and aluminum for the doors. While this was, at first, a set back, combined with the help from the engineer, it becomes a good thing. It will actually cut our costs by forcing us to use aluminum for the roof rather than tiles - which are expensive.

The Days Go By

Dedicated to Addison and Anna - Welcome to the world!

As I mark the days off my calendar, the changing of the months is always bittersweet - one more month has come to a close, bringing me that much closer to saying goodbye to Jocos, and a whole new blank month stretches out before me, waiting to be filled.
6 months ago, these months ticking by were are more sweet than bitter as they moved me closer and closer to my return Home, to those beloved aspects of Home that I have dreamt about so much. But now. . .well now the calendar changes are bitter ans sweet in equal measure as the reality of my leaving Jocos - probably never to return - and actually resuming a life back Home sets in.
It scares me, this going Home. Perhaps more so than coming to Peru. I much now begin to actually answer the questions of What will I do? Where will I live? How will I earn a living? Do I go back to my hometown or settle somewhere else? I have answered the easier of these questions, but the rest are harder and scarier. The unknown known is far carier than the unknown unknown.

These days, my life seems to revolve around the small things and the big things - finding a forgotten and untouched Snickers bar at the bottom of a shelf, getting a 50-latrine project underway. Of course, maybe my life always revolved around these things, but I notice them more here because they break up the monotany of my daily life so much.

The rain can´t seem to make up its mind whether it wans to go or stay. For a week or more, we see neither hide nor hair of any form of moisture, only to have the rain return one afternoon with a house flooding, road ruining, electricity blowing vengance. It teases us with misty mornings and afternoon banks of clouds rolling up the valley, only to clear off just in time for sunset.

Jocos has grabbed ahold of electricity and refuses to let go. Its amazing the speed with which TVs, DVDs, refrigerators, electric ovens and all manner of electric gadgets have populated households. Jocos has opened its arms and wallets to that so powerful electric current while I struggle to embrace it. Kids run around 1/2 dressed, families complain of not having enough money to buy a chicken for dinner, people remind me of my world of plenty and their world of too little, yet there, in the bedroom sit 5 kids, glued to a $500 TV/DVD set while in the kitchen mom purees aji peppers in a $70 blender. Part of me smiles and says "Yes! You enjoy your electricity!", while another part of me cringes to think of those TVs and ovens and DVD players in months and years to come, gathering dust and household clutter, the family having retired them to a corner because they are either too expensive to use or because the electricity is no longer flowing to Jocos.

I have finally started the project that will be my crowning Peace Corps achievement - latrines. The funding request has been started, my boss alerted and additional sources of funding identified. Dates of completion have been set for each set of construction - pits dug, adobe made, etc. Even working with Shocorco, this project is nerve racking in its size (50 latrines!) and its importance - to me and to Shocorco. I don´t want it to fail - it can´t fail. Shocorco needs latrines to take the next step (potable water) and I, in my very American way, need to complete this project to justify my time spent here - something concrete, tangible to point to and say "I did that."

I have a new neighbor - my good friend Proffesor Michaell. he has moved into the room across from mine. I´m looking forward to having him there. Michaell is just a sweatheart and many times has been my saving grace in Jocos. He and Miriam have been very dear friends - I don´t know what I would do without them. The are both so curious, caring and open-minded. We can vent our feeling and frustrations to ech other, make each other laught, share companionable silences over a banana. Work, relationships, politics, life in Jocos, dreams and goals - we talk about it all. I don´t think they can truly understand many of my frustrations with life in Peru and Jocos, but I know they try to imagine it for me. Sadly, I don´t think either friendship will continue after I leave. or perhaps not so sadly - eveny friendship has its course, its purpose. 2 years is probably the course of our friendship. As to the purpose, without Michaell and Miriam, I never would have made it in Jocos. The isolation and loneliness wold have been too much. I can only hope that I have, or am, fulfilling my purpose in their lives - whatever that may be.

The Light Bulb Goes On

Electricity has finally arrived in Jocos! And people are definitely taking full advantage - light bulbs shine in the windows, TVs, DVDs, and stereos blare from doorways, neighbors stop by to see a new refrigerator. I have a light bulb in my room (though I try to use it as little as possible until I find out how much its going to cost) and am still toying with the idea of getting a blender. But more important than all that is the fact that the Health Post now has a heated showerhead! My showers are now much more frequent and much more convenient!

I´m excited to be in Jocos for this potentially life-changing event. It may not happen right away, but I think life will begin to change in an electrified Jocos. Its now possible to extend the day - to sit longer with family and friends, to complete homework and daily chores. I´m curious to see how different, if at all, Jocos is after a year of electricity.
Assuming we have it that long. It was decided that the bill would be paided bi-annually and that the total cost would be averaged among the neighborhoods. The averaging comes, in part, from people not wanting to buy the meters. The bi-annual payments, while convenient for the man collecting the money and taking it to the municipality in Cajabamba, I´m not sure are feasible for a community unaccustomed to paying bills. Monthly payments seem smaller and so easier to manage and are not as subject to "out of site out of mind". But as they say here, "vamos a ver".

I´ve been a Peace Corps Volunteer for over an year now (my one year anniversary was December 3, 2005) and as often happens with anniversaries, especially one year anniversaries, I find myself reflecting on the past year. How have things changed for me in Jocos? How have things changed for me as a Peace Corps Volunteer? How have I changed as a person?
The first two questions I can answer, at least in part, now, but the third I suspect will only be answered in the months following my service when I am once again surrounded by those people and places that know me best.
Life in Jocos has definitely gotten steadily easier over the past year. I have found a routine and that makes all the difference. I am also spending far less time in my room than I was at first. Not because I feel like I have to be out of my room, but because I want to be. I spend a lot of time hanging out with Miriam at the Health Post and, of course, with Doña Paulina and family. I find myself becoming less irritated with everyday things - kids asking me word translations (often these requests trail off behind me long after I have passed them on my daily walks), the inconveniences of living so far from modern luxuries, not being able to communicate with people when I want. In short, I´m much more comfortable in my Jocos skin.
And how have things changed for me as a volunteer? Again, I´m much more comfortable in that skin than I was. Things that were once big deals, no longer are. I struggle less with the frustrations of work and cultural differences (though that is not to say I don´t struggle at all). Often Peace Corps is about changing skins - you have an in-site skin, a Peace Corps volunteer skin, an American citizen skin and your personal image skin. Much of the past year has been about learning to live in those skins; learning to change them, to shed them and finding a balance between them.
With a year under my belt, I´m also looking forward to my return Home- what will I do when I get back? Where will I live? How will I earn a living? What do I want to do with the next few years of my life? I have answers to only a couple of these questions - the rest will answer themselves aling the way (or so I have to believe).

I recently got back to Peru from my first vacation out of its boarders. I spent about 3 weeks in Belize, visiting my mom who is a Peace Corps volunteer there. My dad and brother met me there and we all had a great time. Belize is an incredible place (as is Guatemala from what I could tell from Tikal), but the most incredible part was being with my family again - reassuring and grounding; a reminder from the people who know me better than anyone who I am, where I come from, where I can always go back to. I miss them terribly and would have loved to stay with them, even to go back with them, but they sent me off with the strength I need to finish my time here and to finish it well.

Roofing Day

If ever I asked myself "What good can I do here, really?", I have been answered loud and clear by Shocorco, my poorest and furthest community. On November 10th, I hiked up to the community to be a part of the roofing of the school kitchen (they did it all in one day - framing and tiling). I spent the whole day hanging out with the community and the teachers - joking, eating, talking politics ans swapping cultural stories. They were so excited to have me there! Even though I arrived at my usual time, everyone told me they were worried I wasn´t going to come. The first thing they all did upon my arrival was to show me the tiles - neatly stacked in an unused classroom. Next I was proudly shown the new (and huge) cooking pots & utensils they had purchased (I insisted the women cooking that day pose for a photo with said pots - it took a lot of cajoling and caused one woman to hide behind the school but they finally agreed and tried their best to hide their giggles while I took the picture). At lunch (cooked in the old pots - they were saving the new ones for the 6th grade graduation in December), these same women proudly yet shyly presented me with the boiled chicken from the soup. A big thanks from a community that has precious little to begin with. But by far the best thanks came at the end of the day when Don Claudio abandoned the usual stoic Peruvian picture-pose to jump into a picture with me, holding a roofing tile and yelling "You have to have a tile in the picture! Wait for a tile!" The whole group disolved into laughter and the resulting picture is fantastic. As I hiked back to Jocos, the echoes ofhammers and laughter followed me - long after I was out of ear-shot.
There are some days that simple scream "You´re in the Peace Corps", so Peace Corps brochure they are. We call them Peace Corps Days. But no matter how brochure perfect Roofing Day was, Peace Corps can have only a small part of it. The bulk belongs to me and to Shocorco.
I hope everyone who received the pictures enjoyed them!

I hope everyone has a great Holiday Season. I will be spending it in Jocos, drinking hot chocolate and eating fruit cake at the Health Post with Miriam. Doña Paulina and family are heading to Lima for Christmas to visit their family there. I might also spend a day or so in Lluchubamba with Meredith celebrating a joint Christmas and Hannukah.