The Days Go By
Dedicated to Addison and Anna - Welcome to the world!
As I mark the days off my calendar, the changing of the months is always bittersweet - one more month has come to a close, bringing me that much closer to saying goodbye to Jocos, and a whole new blank month stretches out before me, waiting to be filled.
6 months ago, these months ticking by were are more sweet than bitter as they moved me closer and closer to my return Home, to those beloved aspects of Home that I have dreamt about so much. But now. . .well now the calendar changes are bitter ans sweet in equal measure as the reality of my leaving Jocos - probably never to return - and actually resuming a life back Home sets in.
It scares me, this going Home. Perhaps more so than coming to Peru. I much now begin to actually answer the questions of What will I do? Where will I live? How will I earn a living? Do I go back to my hometown or settle somewhere else? I have answered the easier of these questions, but the rest are harder and scarier. The unknown known is far carier than the unknown unknown.
These days, my life seems to revolve around the small things and the big things - finding a forgotten and untouched Snickers bar at the bottom of a shelf, getting a 50-latrine project underway. Of course, maybe my life always revolved around these things, but I notice them more here because they break up the monotany of my daily life so much.
The rain can´t seem to make up its mind whether it wans to go or stay. For a week or more, we see neither hide nor hair of any form of moisture, only to have the rain return one afternoon with a house flooding, road ruining, electricity blowing vengance. It teases us with misty mornings and afternoon banks of clouds rolling up the valley, only to clear off just in time for sunset.
Jocos has grabbed ahold of electricity and refuses to let go. Its amazing the speed with which TVs, DVDs, refrigerators, electric ovens and all manner of electric gadgets have populated households. Jocos has opened its arms and wallets to that so powerful electric current while I struggle to embrace it. Kids run around 1/2 dressed, families complain of not having enough money to buy a chicken for dinner, people remind me of my world of plenty and their world of too little, yet there, in the bedroom sit 5 kids, glued to a $500 TV/DVD set while in the kitchen mom purees aji peppers in a $70 blender. Part of me smiles and says "Yes! You enjoy your electricity!", while another part of me cringes to think of those TVs and ovens and DVD players in months and years to come, gathering dust and household clutter, the family having retired them to a corner because they are either too expensive to use or because the electricity is no longer flowing to Jocos.
I have finally started the project that will be my crowning Peace Corps achievement - latrines. The funding request has been started, my boss alerted and additional sources of funding identified. Dates of completion have been set for each set of construction - pits dug, adobe made, etc. Even working with Shocorco, this project is nerve racking in its size (50 latrines!) and its importance - to me and to Shocorco. I don´t want it to fail - it can´t fail. Shocorco needs latrines to take the next step (potable water) and I, in my very American way, need to complete this project to justify my time spent here - something concrete, tangible to point to and say "I did that."
I have a new neighbor - my good friend Proffesor Michaell. he has moved into the room across from mine. I´m looking forward to having him there. Michaell is just a sweatheart and many times has been my saving grace in Jocos. He and Miriam have been very dear friends - I don´t know what I would do without them. The are both so curious, caring and open-minded. We can vent our feeling and frustrations to ech other, make each other laught, share companionable silences over a banana. Work, relationships, politics, life in Jocos, dreams and goals - we talk about it all. I don´t think they can truly understand many of my frustrations with life in Peru and Jocos, but I know they try to imagine it for me. Sadly, I don´t think either friendship will continue after I leave. or perhaps not so sadly - eveny friendship has its course, its purpose. 2 years is probably the course of our friendship. As to the purpose, without Michaell and Miriam, I never would have made it in Jocos. The isolation and loneliness wold have been too much. I can only hope that I have, or am, fulfilling my purpose in their lives - whatever that may be.
As I mark the days off my calendar, the changing of the months is always bittersweet - one more month has come to a close, bringing me that much closer to saying goodbye to Jocos, and a whole new blank month stretches out before me, waiting to be filled.
6 months ago, these months ticking by were are more sweet than bitter as they moved me closer and closer to my return Home, to those beloved aspects of Home that I have dreamt about so much. But now. . .well now the calendar changes are bitter ans sweet in equal measure as the reality of my leaving Jocos - probably never to return - and actually resuming a life back Home sets in.
It scares me, this going Home. Perhaps more so than coming to Peru. I much now begin to actually answer the questions of What will I do? Where will I live? How will I earn a living? Do I go back to my hometown or settle somewhere else? I have answered the easier of these questions, but the rest are harder and scarier. The unknown known is far carier than the unknown unknown.
These days, my life seems to revolve around the small things and the big things - finding a forgotten and untouched Snickers bar at the bottom of a shelf, getting a 50-latrine project underway. Of course, maybe my life always revolved around these things, but I notice them more here because they break up the monotany of my daily life so much.
The rain can´t seem to make up its mind whether it wans to go or stay. For a week or more, we see neither hide nor hair of any form of moisture, only to have the rain return one afternoon with a house flooding, road ruining, electricity blowing vengance. It teases us with misty mornings and afternoon banks of clouds rolling up the valley, only to clear off just in time for sunset.
Jocos has grabbed ahold of electricity and refuses to let go. Its amazing the speed with which TVs, DVDs, refrigerators, electric ovens and all manner of electric gadgets have populated households. Jocos has opened its arms and wallets to that so powerful electric current while I struggle to embrace it. Kids run around 1/2 dressed, families complain of not having enough money to buy a chicken for dinner, people remind me of my world of plenty and their world of too little, yet there, in the bedroom sit 5 kids, glued to a $500 TV/DVD set while in the kitchen mom purees aji peppers in a $70 blender. Part of me smiles and says "Yes! You enjoy your electricity!", while another part of me cringes to think of those TVs and ovens and DVD players in months and years to come, gathering dust and household clutter, the family having retired them to a corner because they are either too expensive to use or because the electricity is no longer flowing to Jocos.
I have finally started the project that will be my crowning Peace Corps achievement - latrines. The funding request has been started, my boss alerted and additional sources of funding identified. Dates of completion have been set for each set of construction - pits dug, adobe made, etc. Even working with Shocorco, this project is nerve racking in its size (50 latrines!) and its importance - to me and to Shocorco. I don´t want it to fail - it can´t fail. Shocorco needs latrines to take the next step (potable water) and I, in my very American way, need to complete this project to justify my time spent here - something concrete, tangible to point to and say "I did that."
I have a new neighbor - my good friend Proffesor Michaell. he has moved into the room across from mine. I´m looking forward to having him there. Michaell is just a sweatheart and many times has been my saving grace in Jocos. He and Miriam have been very dear friends - I don´t know what I would do without them. The are both so curious, caring and open-minded. We can vent our feeling and frustrations to ech other, make each other laught, share companionable silences over a banana. Work, relationships, politics, life in Jocos, dreams and goals - we talk about it all. I don´t think they can truly understand many of my frustrations with life in Peru and Jocos, but I know they try to imagine it for me. Sadly, I don´t think either friendship will continue after I leave. or perhaps not so sadly - eveny friendship has its course, its purpose. 2 years is probably the course of our friendship. As to the purpose, without Michaell and Miriam, I never would have made it in Jocos. The isolation and loneliness wold have been too much. I can only hope that I have, or am, fulfilling my purpose in their lives - whatever that may be.
posted by Kellie | 7:12 AM
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